The Countdown...
10. For schools: repair leaky roofing with recycled grass clippings. Get that trendy "thatched" look as an added bonus.9. For roads: replace "pothole" with "targeted speed-management device" in the city engineer's report.
8. Attack childhood obesity by cutting school lunches in half.
7. Raise revenue by lowering all speed limits 15 mph. Warn traffic police; keep mum to motorists.
6. Quit purchasing glue sticks for elementary school classrooms. Kids know spit is stickier anyway.
5. Train military for special concrete barrier black-ops. Mission: Sneak into Canada; steal expensive concrete lane dividers; install them on Hwy 2. (Might also work for bridges...more research needed.)
4. Don't replace 20 year old math texts. They provide students with a priceless, historical perspective.
3. Scrap half the school bus fleet. Mount seat belts from scrapped buses to roofs of remaining buses and warn children not to play with the power lines. Don't worry, children always follow directions.
2. Give the land back to the people! Privatize all roads. Residents and business owners with property in direct contact with any section of road should be directly responsible for any necessary improvement of said section of road. Costs and decisions associated with repairs should be equally split with neighbor across the street. (Personal injury and real estate lawyers, rejoice!)
1. Forget schools altogether. Put the children to work maintaining roads.
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Not ready to thatch school roofing with old grass clippings? Support Eleanor Walters, the Democratic Party nominee for WA State Representative, 39th LD, pos. 1!
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